| Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. What are riot police in Germany called? And who knows? So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. In appreciation for over 31 years only and are not investment advice. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. The Wedding. 30. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. 31. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. 34. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Funny cop retirement quotes. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. What did the police officer say to the hand? To return Click Here. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. Hello Pension. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. 6. Get Started I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Peter Lynch. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. 18. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Why did the police arrest the turkey? Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Retirement is not the end of the road. What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. All the best!". 36. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". No matter your connection to or feelings for cops, police jokes will have the whole family laughing. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. . If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. We enjoy success due to your leadership, Margaret Mead, A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. The perfect crime was committed last night. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! as He inspires you every day. You've broken the law. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! 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Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. to utter words, but to live by them. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Because it was mugged. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. 4. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Before you write, think. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". 40. Retiring State Trooper I am not. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? As long as youre working, you stay young. You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Retirement Party. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). are presented without warranty. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Anonymous Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. 43. in all your future endeavors! Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Unemployed and Loving It. We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf. Gene Perret, I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it. Catherine Pulsifer, I am a free man. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. A Life Long Friendship. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Cars are backed up for miles. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! Dishes the police. Let him come out as I do, and bark. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. significant financial decision. A. Happy retirement my dear friend. 33. An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. To the People of the State of New York. Unknown, Expect the best. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. Dishes who? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. 32. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. 37. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. it has a blue light. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Police say they have nothing to go on. forget that the highest appreciation is not ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Here it is, she said. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. Women go right on cooking.". We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working.

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